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  "description": "And when your confidence is gone, it's hard to feel good about your work",
  "path": "/i-lost-confidence-in-myself/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-02-18T20:36:43.000Z",
  "site": "https://pixelsandpizza.com",
  "tags": [
    "spending seven days in Fiji",
    "we opened Sips & Pies",
    "you're just a content farmer",
    "get in touch"
  ],
  "textContent": "Nearly two years ago when I decided I was walking away from tech journalism, I did so after spending seven days in Fiji, which triggered plenty of self-reflection and ultimately, the realization it was time to make some huge life changes. As I said at the time:\n\n> It wasn't an easy decision, but it's the right one for my family and I. I've never been more certain about where I'm at in life, and where I want to be a year from now.\n\nJust under a year after writing that, we opened Sips & Pies. The plan worked. The change was, and still is, the right call.\n\n## A nagging feeling in the background\n\nThat said, for a couple of years before I took a leap of faith, I was writing every day after I'd lost confidence in myself as a competent reporter, reviewer, podcast host and every other job description I'd held.\n\nI fought with my self doubt for almost every news story, opinion piece or embargoed review.\n\nI worked with a lot of fantastic editors over the years. Editors who helped me improve my skillset, mentored me, and brought out my best work even on my worst day. I'll forever be grateful and indebted to them.\n\nKeep in mind, I started writing as a hobby, with the sole intention of getting enough traffic on BerryScoop that Otterbox would send a free case for whatever BlackBerry I was using at the time. That was the entire idea that kickstarted my career.\n\nSo when I walked into the Fortune offices in New York City for the first time, I was beyond intimidated and full of _I don't belong here_ vibes. Imposter syndrome is real.\n\nThat feeling was compounded every single time I was asked _Where'd you go to J-School?_. I didn't, but with the help of patient editors, my confidence slowly and surely grew.\n\nHowever, it doesn't take but one or two bad editors to tear down what it took years for me to build up. That's what happened to me.\n\nWriting is extremely personal, so when you routinely submit work to an editor who does nothing more than tear it apart, it's disheartening.\n\nI used to dread opening Google Docs, only to find every single line of a 2,000 word story with suggestions I needed to approve and revisions I needed to make.\n\nQuestioning every paragraph, sentence and word you write is exhausting. It's even more exhausting when you're writing from the perspective of just wanting to make it through edits, not to write to the best of your abilities. There is a huge difference between those two things.\n\nCompounding the issue is being able to write the only way you know how for a different editor (or in my case, many editors) and receive nothing but high praises and minimal edits in return. And, no, the amount of edits doesn't equate to having higher standards.\n\nThere was so much more to the downfall of my confidence than edits in a Google Doc.\n\nTo this day, the words \"you're just a content farmer\" echo in my head on a routine basis. Words told to me by an editor as what I can only frame as a backhanded compliment.\n\nWas I really just a content farmer? Did having multiple clients with multiple income streams dilute the quality of my work? The answer, of course, is not at all... but I certainly was made to feel that way.\n\nAt one point, about a year prior to me calling it quits, I had an editor hold meetings with the same PR contacts I had taken years to develop relationships with and tell them I'd left tech journalism altogether – while I was still actively working for them!\n\nI found out after multiple contacts – from different companies, mind you – reached out to me, all inquiring about my supposed change. If it happened once, I could write it off as a misunderstanding. But the fact it happened at multiple companies with multiple people, I can only assume it was malicious.\n\nI will never understand either of those situations. It was hard not to take any of it personally. For what it's worth, I did communicate my frustrations, but it wasn't well received and nothing was done. I became the problem, not them.\n\nHopefully those editors have grown and learned how to be better managers.\n\n## Bylines are votes of confidence\n\nAs I've been navigating My Freelancing Career V2.0, albeit this time in a more limited fashion, I've tried to tackle the loss of confidence head on.\n\nAnd then, I realized something a couple of weeks ago – every publication that blessed me with a byline throughout my career was a resounding vote of confidence. They trusted me to get work done, on time, with clean copy and a sound opinion. And I busted my ass to deliver exactly that.\n\nIn the midst of my career, I had trouble seeing bylines as a vote of confidence, and while I come back to an industry I loved so much, I have to admit I still have trouble seeing it at times.\n\nRebuilding my client list, and in turn my confidence, is going to be a slow process. I don't want to take on too much, but I also want to be sure I'm working with people who are going to build me up, not tear me down. It has to be a good fit for both of us.\n\nMy ideal writing gig right now would be a weekly column where I had the freedom to write about whatever I wanted, much like I'm doing here. Otherwise, I'd be content with finding one or two clients I can regularly contribute to.\n\nIf you are looking for a reliable tech journalist, or know someone who is, get in touch. I need to rebuild my confidence, one byline at a time.",
  "title": "I lost confidence in myself",
  "updatedAt": "2026-02-18T20:36:43.000Z"
}