{
  "path": "/3mcullas4ek2c",
  "site": "at://did:plc:gwre3rmn25eerdabls33d4bk/site.standard.publication/3mbubqwfias2f",
  "tags": [
    "friendship",
    "neurodivergency",
    "adhd",
    "rsd"
  ],
  "$type": "site.standard.document",
  "title": "was it even true all along?",
  "content": {
    "$type": "pub.leaflet.content",
    "pages": [
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        "id": "019bbd6e-e804-7557-81f0-06bc3a7e496f",
        "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument",
        "blocks": [
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            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.blockquote",
              "facets": [
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                  "index": {
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                  "features": [
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                      "$type": "pub.leaflet.richtext.facet#italic"
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                }
              ],
              "plaintext": "\"And if it's not personal, what is it?"
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.blockquote",
              "facets": [
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                  "index": {
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                  "features": [
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                      "$type": "pub.leaflet.richtext.facet#italic"
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                }
              ],
              "plaintext": "Only option left is business"
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.blockquote",
              "facets": [
                {
                  "index": {
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                  "features": [
                    {
                      "$type": "pub.leaflet.richtext.facet#italic"
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              ],
              "plaintext": "Can I pay bills with it? (Can I pay bills with it?)"
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.blockquote",
              "facets": [
                {
                  "index": {
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                  "features": [
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                      "$type": "pub.leaflet.richtext.facet#italic"
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              ],
              "plaintext": "And tell me again how dumb you think I am\""
            }
          },
          {
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            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "— googly eyes - Personal"
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "url": "https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/1MNTAfevGliUbAXDBRpexn?utm_source=oembed",
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.iframe",
              "height": 152
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "Was the friendship that I wanted to have with people you deemed cool even true? "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "I'm not sure, to be honest. "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "Maybe it's just my RSD speaking and nobody truly hates me, but it's hard to believe. "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "Who hates me? Who doesn't? Maybe someone who claims to not hate me actually does? "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "I'm way too sensitive to rejection. Being neurodivergent sucks, in a way, but it is what it is. You get abandoned, constantly self-sabotage and ruin your own life, question the intentions of people around you. "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "Do they care? Is it all real or...are they disgusted by the mere idea of you? Being friends with you? "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [
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                  "features": [
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                      "$type": "pub.leaflet.richtext.facet#italic"
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              ],
              "plaintext": "If they care, is this person you or the one who wronged you? Are they a first-priority friend, and not you? If both of you fight, who would they defend? "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "If both of you fuck up equally, who gets the harsher callout? "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "If you're direct and they're not, "
            }
          },
          {
            "$type": "pub.leaflet.pages.linearDocument#block",
            "block": {
              "$type": "pub.leaflet.blocks.text",
              "facets": [],
              "plaintext": "Who is valued more in your community?"
            }
          }
        ]
      }
    ]
  },
  "description": "when you feel like everybody's lying to you",
  "publishedAt": "2026-01-20T16:34:41.413Z"
}