Tech Interviews and Anxiety

A woman clutching at the neck line of her shirt with eyes closed in contemplation with the photo having a red overlay.(https://res.cloudinary.com/colabottles/image/upload/v1605623948/images/anxiety.jpg "Photo by Chaozzy Lin on Unsplash.") I recently went through the interview phase for a job and it was the furthest I have got in an interview phase in 5 years. I did not end up getting the job. I feel the deciding factor was the fact that I do no interview well. I am a visual person. I can see things better and visualize things best when I am working. I have being doing web design and development for over twentyone years. I did not fare well and there were questions I should have been able to answer but couldn&8217;t. I get anxietyridden and when I am thrown a curve ball in the Q&A period of any interview that I cannot answer, I lock up and immediately it is the flight part of the &8220;flight or fight&8221; phenomenon. I am no longer working and would like to move into a teamoriented role somewhere, but in the twenty years I have been keeping records, I have been hired a total of two times in the span of 2,147 resumes sent, with about threequarters actually getting back to me. Half of those were automated rejection emails, the other half were emails or calls and one phone interview and that was that. I see younger people all the time, &8220;I got a new role at COMPANY after two years at FORMER COMPANY&8221; I don&8217;t understand this phenomenon. I do understand the ageism that is rampant and still exists in tech and tech hiring. I have accepted and surrendered to that very fact. This also is far from being 'sour grapes' over the entire process. Frustration, yes. The every three years skipping to a new role has me shaking my head. Maybe it&8217;s just the fact I find that loyalty and being loyal are part of a code of ethics that I like to adhere to these days. I give my 100% and more to a company that invests in me and my skills. So when you bring me on, you bring me on for 5, 10, 15+ years. The long haul. I&8217;ll be 50 in January. I&8217;ve applied to places I have familiarity with the product and because I am not some twentysomething kid with plenty of time to spend hours upon hours in front of a computer reading and soaking everything in, I am disposable to young millennial tech. Not needed. Not wanted. My skills are just not wanted at all. I believe this to be fact. I believe this to be truth. Not only an opinion. There is always an element of some sort of framework knowledge that &8220;needs&8221; to be a &8220;requirement&8221; in a frontend position which makes me think of the articles written by Chris Coyier about just this thing here: The Widening Responsibility for FrontEnd Developers(https://csstricks.com/thewideningresponsibilityforfrontenddevelopers/) and here The Great Divide(https://csstricks.com/thegreatdivide/). I am down but not out and I have 10&8211;15 years left in me and no one in tech is going to tell me when I am out. I am going to dictate when that happens. I have a thirst for knowledge and a desire to learn and I learn by doing. That&8217;s how I have rolled for 21+ years. The window of opportunity closes little by little, daybyday. So, without attracting every recruiter and headhunter in the entire world, who wants to take a chance on a web developer/designer that has 21+ years under his belt? Few places have shown interest. Fewer places have inquired. I still have the skills and desire to keep learning that I did 21+ years ago, you&8217;re getting more than just a warm seat for 3&8211;4 years.