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  "description": "Let’s not force each other to type out the word “fine” and pretend it’s a conversation.",
  "path": "/notes-from-autopilot-vol-1-i-keep-forgetting-my-friends-exist/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-06-11T05:39:29.000Z",
  "site": "https://grants.social",
  "textContent": "Much like this blog, I routinely lose track of how long it’s been since I engaged with the outside world. I haven’t published a word on here since March, and I guarantee it’s been even longer since I spoke to some of my “close” friends.\n\nInternet therapists have a clinical term for this: Time Blindness.\n\nThey frame it as a cognitive glitch where you lose your grip on the passage of time and lack object permanence for other human beings.\n\nI just call it Tuesday. Or maybe Thursday. I don’t know, what day is it again?\n\nIt’s practically a ritual at this point. A friend will track me down and say, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever,” and I’ll just stare at them, genuinely confused. In my head, we just grabbed a beer a couple of weeks ago. In reality, an entire year has passed.\n\nPart of this is fueled by my deeply ingrained belief that no news is good news. If my phone isn’t ringing, I just assume everyone is out there thriving, or at least surviving. So there’s absolutely no reason to interrupt them.\n\nPlus, I'm terrible at small talk. If we don’t have a specific reason to speak, I won’t be contacting you. I don't want to text you just to ask how your week is going. Your week is fine. My week is fine. Let’s not force each other to type out the word “fine” and pretend it’s a conversation.\n\nIt doesn’t help that social media tricks my brain into thinking that seeing your post is real communication. I’ll see your Instagram story about a frustrating commute or a mildly interesting sandwich, and think, “Oh, good for them,” and my brain registers that as a meaningful interaction. We haven’t spoken a real word to each other since 2024, but I know what you had for lunch, so we’re good.\n\nThe strange thing is, it’s not that I don’t care. I actually think about my friends all the time. I’ll see something funny, and think to myself, “I should really send this to them,” and then the paralysis sets in. I realize exactly how long it’s been, and I realize how incredibly awkward it is to randomly text someone who hasn’t heard from you in years.\n\nThe longer this goes on for, the weirder it gets. Reaching out requires explaining where I’ve been, and the answer “I was on autopilot and forgot to speak to my friends again” doesn’t exactly make for a great greeting card. So, I just let another month slip by.\n\nSo to all of my friends, if this reaches you, I apologize. I haven't forgotten you. And if you're anything like me, you can count this blog post as a real life check in. I'm doing fine, no need for an awkward text message.\n\n## Sign up for Fear & Loathing in Everyday Life\n\nWriting About Life and Personal Stories\n\nSubscribe\n\nEmail sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup.\n\nNo spam. Unsubscribe anytime.",
  "title": "Notes From Autopilot, Vol. 1: I Keep Forgetting My Friends Exist",
  "updatedAt": "2026-06-11T05:39:30.493Z"
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