“We Hold These Truds”: A Search For The Weirdest Piece Of America 250 Merchandise

On the morning of Game 1 of the NBA Finals, I received an email from the U.S. Semiquincentennial Commission (better known as “America250”) promoting the release of new commemorative apparel to mark the occasion. The shirt designs have little connection to the NBA Finals—“NBA” is nowhere to be found, and the only logo on it is America250’s—but somehow even less connection to the country’s birthday. One has a basketball going into a net, flanked by the phrase “Game seven grit and American spirit” on one side and “America 250” on the other. On another, “CHAMPIONS” cascades down the front, topped by the phrase “Victory Runs Deep.” What I can only assume is a now-middle-aged And1 guy streaks across the middle, gliding over the America250 logo and “2026 Finals.” There’s no real explanation why the entity responsible for planning a historic national anniversary is dropping unlicensed-looking hoops shirts. (America250 does actually have a formal partnership with Fanatics and every major pro sports league, so allow me to be the first person to ever write the sentence “This apparel would be better if Fanatics were involved.”) I wish I could tell you this was the dumbest 250th-anniversary memorabilia I’ve seen. Unfortunately, it’s not even close. This is formalwear by comparison. Semiquincentennial (think “half of five hundred”) merchandise has emerged slowly over the past 18 months—a shot glass here, a stuffed animal there. But just a few short days out from the Fourth of July, 250th-anniversary memorabilia is suddenly available pretty much everywhere I look.