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  "path": "/fernando-alonsos-extremities-pulped-for-pointless-laps-in-a-worthless-lemon",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-16T15:09:53.000Z",
  "site": "https://defector.com",
  "tags": [
    "Racing",
    "aston martin",
    "don't you hate when your employer is effectively electrocuting you",
    "Fernando Alonso",
    "formula 1",
    "honda",
    "when your employer is effectively electrocuting you",
    "everything else wrong with it",
    "a friendly little wave",
    "after the race"
  ],
  "textContent": "It must have been surreal and thrilling for Fernando Alonso to find himself in a points position moments after the start of the 2026 Chinese Grand Prix. That Aston Martin he's driving is a worthless piece of crap, but because half the grid has still not figured out how to work the start of a race with the new engine regulations, there's a particularly crazy frenetic scramble when the lights drop. This time Alonso shot from 18th, where he'd qualified, all the way up to 10th. Imagine it: That awful car, that contemptible rattling disaster, soaring into the points. Baby, you're a firework!\n\nIt could not last. First of all, apart from everything else wrong with it, the Aston Martin is not very fast. Alonso was back in 13th a lap later, and then 14th, and then 15th. He stayed out during the safety car caused by the inevitable failure of his teammate's car, but the decision lifted him only into 11th. When the racing fired up again, all the freshened cars blew by, and then the real indignities began. Alonso was passed on lap 15 by Sergio Pérez, driving a Cadillac that for all its competitive relevance might as well have wood side-panelling and a kayak slung overhead. The new overtake mode has so far encouraged a lot of reciprocal overtaking, and so Alonso was soon able to scoot past Pérez, but he couldn't hold the spot, and the two went back and forth for a bit, contesting their own sad little sideshow down there at the back of the pack. During one of Pérez's overtakes, Alonso offered a friendly little wave to his veteran opponent. _Nice to see you!_\n\nThis would not be the only time that Alonso took his hands from his steering wheel. Aston Martin has not yet solved the terrible engine vibrations that rattle its car to pieces. Lance Stroll was spared the suffering caused by this jackhammer action when his own car crapped out early, but Alonso's car continued to propel itself forward and so he bravely held out for more than 30 laps, without a normally timed pit stop to give his poor battered mitts a rest. The vibrating picked up around lap 20 and soon became severe. \"It was difficult today, we found more vibrations than any other session of the weekend,\" Alonso said after the race. \"I started to lose the feeling in my hands and my feet, so it was not a nice feeling.\"",
  "title": "Fernando Alonso’s Extremities Pulped For Pointless Laps In A Worthless Lemon"
}