Trump To World: Please Help Me Un-Shoot My Own Leg Off

The Strait of Hormuz, the narrow waterway connecting the Persian Gulf to the Indian Ocean via the Gulf of Oman, has been effectively closed for over two weeks, since the United States and Israel began their war of aggression against the nation of Iran and Iran responded by, in part, warning ships that passage of the strait would not be permitted and attacking some of those that tried to pass through it. This is a big deal, as you likely know: A critical portion of the world's petroleum and liquid natural gas passes through the strait on its way from the Middle East to basically everywhere else. Oil and energy prices have spiked, turning an immoral and multiply illegal war that was unpopular from the outset into a political cataclysm for its perpetrators.

None of this had to happen. By all available reporting and the variably coherent statements of various officials, nothing in particular precipitated this war other than power being in the hands of the wrong people in the U.S. and Israel and those people deciding, for reasons they cannot explain and may not really understand, Hey, let's attack Iran. Now that it is happening, it is not so easily ended except on terms that will only add harm to the bloodthirsty morons who elected to start it. It's quite a pickle.

The aggressor nations of course did not anticipate this, or in any event failed to plan for it. That is because they are run by some of the dumbest losers ever to live, a grade of men who are bad at both anticipation and planning due to having no theory of the minds of others and only the most rudimentary inkling of an idea that other people even have minds. Because of this incuriosity and ignorance, they are continually caught flat-footed by other people behaving as anything more than simple buttons to press. In a nutshell, this is the problem. With, in a nutshell, basically everything currently happening in the world.