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  "path": "/aston-martin-driving-our-car-will-maim-you",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-05T17:04:57.000Z",
  "site": "https://defector.com",
  "tags": [
    "Racing",
    "adrian newey",
    "aston martin",
    "Fernando Alonso",
    "formula 1",
    "honda",
    "lance stroll",
    "when your employer is effectively electrocuting you",
    "plagued by microphone issues"
  ],
  "textContent": "Three days before the first race of the Formula 1 season, it is impossible to overstate just how badly the Aston Martin team, newly headed by racecar guru Adrian Newey, have managed to botch it. Any attempt to summarize from an outsider's perspective will mostly boil down to an incoherent, expletive-laden babble—\"Oh my god, they fucked it, it is unbelievable just how much they fucked it,\" etc.—but it's more effective to hear the facts directly from the sources themselves.\n\nHere are a few sentences Newey uttered in a 15-minute press conference (reportedly and fittingly plagued by microphone issues) prior to the Australian Grand Prix:\n\n  * \"The vibration into the chassis is causing a few reliability problems: mirrors falling off, tail lights falling off, all that sort of thing, which we are having to address.\"\n  * \"Fernando [Alonso] is of the feeling that he can't do more than 25 laps consecutively before he risks permanent nerve damage to his hands.\"\n  * \"We are going to have to be very heavily restricted on how many laps we do in the race until we get on top of the source of the vibration.\"\n\n",
  "title": "Aston Martin: Driving Our Car Will Maim You"
}