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  "path": "/how-do-i-get-my-lazy-teen-to-pick-a-college",
  "publishedAt": "2026-02-24T18:56:58.000Z",
  "site": "https://defector.com",
  "tags": [
    "Advice",
    "Funbag",
    "chinese food",
    "college",
    "industry",
    "sleep",
    "teens",
    "_SFGATE_",
    "_buy Drew’s books_",
    "_you’re at it_"
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  "textContent": "_Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind?__Email the Funbag_ _. You can also read Drew over at_ _SFGATE_ _, and_ _buy Drew’s books_ _while_ _you’re at it_ _. Today, we're talking about rug spills, shitty Chinese takeout mainstays, college visits, and more._\n\nYour letters:\n\nMike:",
  "title": "How Do I Get My Lazy Teen To Pick A College?"
}