Arachnid Instincts (And Other Things Bruce Regrets)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85225706

by Astra_The_Spotted_Hyena

Nobody on the Avengers team realized exactly how literal Peter Parker’s spider physiology was until Bruce Banner innocently brewed a cup of organic peppermint tea to soothe a headache. The moment the sharp scent hits the penthouse, Peter’s primal instincts take over, sending him hissing, clicking, and scaling the walls into the kitchen rafters like a giant, defensive tarantula. The situation goes from hilarious to downright chaotic when Steve Rogers tries to intervene and discovers the hard way that his newly discovered honorary nephew has actual fangs—and actual venom. A story of herbal tea mishaps, accidental super-soldier neurotoxins, and a deeply unimpressed Nick Fury who really doesn’t get paid enough to deal with the Stark family dynamics, and the New Number one rule is No peppermint anywhere near the teen.

Words: 2786, Chapters: 2/3, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of Peter Parker is a chaos gremlin

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Captain America (Chris Evans Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Peter Parker, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), FRIDAY the AI (Marvel), Nick Fury

Relationships: Clint Barton & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov

Additional Tags: Peter Parker Acts Like a Spider, Spider Physiology, spider behavior, Accidental Hissing, Ceilings Are Comfortable, Bruce Banner Just Wanted Tea, Tony Stark is an Expert at Dealing with Menaces, Bruce Banner Needs Sleep, Stark-brand Chaos, Crack Treated Seriously, Peter Parker is Tony Stark’s Biological Child, Peter Parker Calls Tony Stark “Dad”, Peter Parker Likes Steve Rogers, Peter Parker is a Ray of Sunshine, Peter Parker is a Damsel in Distress, Mentioned Thor (Marvel), Peter Parker Has Fangs, peter parker is venomous

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/85225706