Thinking About Longevity Should Start Now. And It's About Way More Than Money.
Millennial parents are officially middle-aged. I know, I cringed when I heard that as well. But, in all honesty, the oldest among us hit 45 this year, and with that milestone has come a question that none of us really planned to be asking in our parenting years: What kind of life am I actually building toward?
Not just financially, but physically, socially, geographically. The whole picture. And in a system that wasn't designed with all of our needs in mind - as women, as trans people, as neurodivergent families, as LGBTQ+ and interracial households. We've always had to build that world ourselves. This is no different.
Being part of the sandwich generation has a way of making that clear fast. We're raising kids and watching our parents age at the same time. We're seeing up close what preparation, or the lack of it, actually looks like in real time. That is a gift, if we're paying attention.
The goal isn't just a long life. It's a good one.
Joe Coughlin, director of the MIT AgeLab, says that while retirement savings are the advice most people hear, there's a lot more to the equation. He and his collaborators built the Longevity Preparedness Index , and their first question wasn't about money at all.
They surveyed over 1,300 American adults across eight key life domains. Here's how the U.S. scored:
| MIT AgeLab · Longevity Preparedness Index 60 / 100 The U.S. overall longevity preparedness score — across care, community, home, social connection, health, daily activities, life transitions, and finance. All eight domains. Not just money. | |
|---|---|
| Finance is 1 of 8 domains. A score of 60 means there's real work to do across all of them — not just your retirement account. |
These are the four domains that matter most for families in the planning stage right now:
🤝 Care
Planning who provides support — and when — before you need it.
🏘️ Community
Proximity to healthcare, groceries, transit — and people who know you.
👥 Social Connection
Relationships built to sustain over time. Isolation accelerates decline faster than most diseases.
🏠 Home
Is where you live actually set up to hold you as you age? Accessibility matters before you need it.
💰 Finance · 💪 Daily Activities · ❤️ Health · 🔄 Life Transitions
The remaining four domains — all equally tracked in the MIT AgeLab index.
Source: MIT AgeLab Longevity Preparedness Index
The research on community and social connection is worth stopping at. Livable communities for aging well require proximity to healthcare, grocery stores, and transit, but also people. Isolation is one of the fastest drivers of cognitive and physical decline in older age. The community you invest in now is not just nice to have. It's infrastructure.
On care: many older adults will need long-term care at some point, and many of us will also become caregivers ourselves before that. Planning for it, rather than assuming a partner or your kids will figure it out, is one of the most loving things you can do for your family right now.
Relocating isn't just for snowbirds anymore
There's a quieter conversation happening among families who are thinking about the long game right now, in their parenting years, not waiting until retirement. You've probably seen it. Our Rich Journey on YouTube. Families on House Hunters International. Your neighbor who moved abroad and keeps posting beautiful photos. For a lot of these families, it's a strategic decision about quality of life - not just vibes.
The numbers on retiring abroad
4% → 17%
Americans over 55 considering retiring abroad — up from the 1970s to today
+19%
More Americans receiving Social Security abroad over the last decade
35%
Of future retirees now plan to retire outside the U.S.
Sources: Monmouth University poll · Social Security Administration · GetGoldenVisa 2025 Report
The financial case is hard to argue with. Monthly living expenses in top retirement destinations run 34–71% lower than the U.S. average:
Monthly cost of living comparison 🇺🇸 U.S. average (65+) $5,119 / month
🇵🇹 Portugal (Algarve) $3,085 / month
🇵🇦 Panama (Boquete) $2,400 / month
Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (2024) · Live and Invest Overseas 2026 Index
A few countries surface consistently in research and firsthand accounts from families like ours. None of these are perfect. There is no perfect. But imperfect with better support systems beats imperfect and stranded every time.
🇵🇹 Portugal Algarve region · active expat community Accessible healthcare, welcoming visa pathway, strong quality of life. ~$3,085/mo
🇫🇷 France Montpellier · Mediterranean south · large expat and university community Robust senior home care including in rural areas. Strong social infrastructure and one of the warmest climates in France. ~$2,700/mo
🇳🇿 New Zealand Nelson · top of South Island · one of NZ's sunniest cities Progressive policies. Multicultural families consistently cite a real sense of community. Significantly more affordable than Auckland. ~$3,200/mo
🇯🇵 Japan Fukuoka · Kyushu island · consistently rated Japan's most livable expat city World-class elder care infrastructure shaped over decades. Notably more affordable than Tokyo with a growing international community. ~$2,800/mo
The Builder hack on all of this
You do not need to have it all figured out. You need to start thinking about it now: at 45, at 35, at 55 - before the decisions get made for you by default.
01 Take the MIT AgeLab quiz. Free, about 10 minutes, and it will show exactly where your gaps are across all eight domains. Find it here via NPR.
02 Look at finances through a longevity lens. Not just "can I retire" — but "what does care, housing, and health look like at 85?" If you're open to living elsewhere, the math shifts considerably.
03 Audit your community intentionally. Who are your people? Are those relationships built to sustain over time, distance, and life changes? For our families especially, this is worth mapping deliberately.
04 Think about your home and city. Is where you live actually set up to support you as you age? Does the neighborhood? The access to transit, healthcare, community?
05 Talk to your kids about it. Not to put pressure on them — the opposite. The families who plan now remove the burden from their children later. Having the conversation early models that planning is something we do, not something that happens to us.
We're already Builders, so let's build this too.
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This post is for informational and planning purposes, not financial or legal advice. For decisions about retirement, relocation, or long-term care, please consult a licensed financial planner or advisor who understands your full picture.
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