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  "path": "/articles/party-games-for-fifty-somethings",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-12T17:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://www.mcsweeneys.net",
  "textContent": "**Musical Ergonomic Chairs**\nPlayers walk around a group of mesh-backed task chairs with lumbar support. When the music stops, each player sits and tells the person to their left where they’re experiencing joint discomfort. The player who doesn’t get a chair goes to the nearest CVS to buy topical analgesic creams as party favors.\n\n**Hot Air-Fried Potato**\nPlayers preheat a basket-style air fryer to 385 degrees and add some chopped, seasoned Yukon gold potatoes. The air fryer is passed around for ten minutes, shaking once halfway through. Objective: just to be air frying with good friends and talking about air frying.\n\n**Your Overindulged Son Simon Says**\nYour twelve-year-old son Simon—if he’s available and feels like it—sits in the center of the room and makes demands. Players try to say no in a way that doesn’t invalidate Simon’s wishes, but that also sets some boundaries. One by one, each player caves because, honestly, it’s just easier. (_Note: This game cannot be won._)\n\n**Bed Height, Greenlight**\nTwo players get into an adjustable bed and slowly raise it with a remote. Players shout “bed height!” when they’ve reached the position most suited to their sleep style. Game play continues until either both players agree, or one makes a good point that this position is better for their sleep apnea.\n\n**Blazer Tag**\nOne player puts on a sports jacket while the others guess the care instructions and fiber content written on the tag. The player with the most correct guesses must then sit in the center of the room and tell a story about a time they knew more interesting things.\n\n**Pin the Colonoscopy Reminder on the Calendar**\nPlayers are blindfolded, spun around, and handed a sticker from their local gastroenterology clinic. The person who places the sticker closest to the second Tuesday in March receives a twelve-pack of Italian ice without red dye. (_Optional: To really let loose, each player drinks a full bottle of Suprep an hour before the party._)\n\n**Espresso Pod Piñata**\nPlayers swing a stick at a piñata filled with espresso pods, from dark arabicas to light crema blends. As players scramble for the pods, they explain they know this is bad for the environment and that they normally grind their own beans.\n\n**Duck Duck —Wait, What Was I Saying?**\nPlayers sit in a circle as the “tapper” taps heads while saying, “Duck, duck…” This goes on until the tapper loses their train of thought. Other players remind the tapper that they were saying, “Duck.” Then everybody forgets why they came into this room in the first place.\n\n**Everything Is in Limbo**\nHold out a broom or one of those new Shark steam mops—those things are incredible. Players walk under it while talking about everything in flux in their lives, from aging parents to losing professional relevance in an industry that might not even exist in six months. Keep lowering the stick until somebody has a nervous breakdown or changes the subject to air frying.\n\n**Pickleball**\nJust cancel the party and book a court. It’s all you ever want to do or talk about anyway.",
  "title": "Party Games for  Fifty-Somethings"
}