Make kin not nets

> But I think all of this elides the real and justified reasons for feeling icky about networking: the act, as it’s usually discussed, distills human relationships into resources to be mined YES! That's one of the issues I've had with it. It's like, "I'm not interested in you, you can't provide me any value, so I'm not going to engage with you..." > It translates caring and caretaking for one another—one of the most meaningful and sacred acts any of us ever performs—into a utility, a “value-add,” an exchange of capital. It demeans the real friendship and camaraderie that emerges from working closely with other people on things that we are mutually and genuinely interested in. > And yet: we do need to build relationships in our work and we need to be able to depend on them. We need to acknowledge our interdependence with respect to how we work and live among each other. We need this especially now, in an era of no longer creeping but leaping fascism and an escalating climate crisis. As always, we can only ever depend on each other. > “Kinwork” refers to the work of creating and sustaining kin relationships. > But I for one am unwilling to cede either point: I assert, instead, that kinwork is critical work for people of all genders, that knitting stronger relationships is a core survival skill in difficult times and in every part of our lives—including in our work lives. > ...kin are not only the relationships we are born with but the ones we find ourselves among, whether by choice or circumstance. Kinwork is, then, the making and remaking of those relationships, the weaving together of people into ecosystems of support and care. > Jettisoning networking in favor of kinworking means taking a more ecological approach, one oriented towards nurturing the soil, planting seeds, providing water and sunlight—and then accepting that you have no control over what grows. > The difference is between the act of contributing to the ground on which you and others stand versus negotiating an exchange that leaves the earth barren and dry. Which is not to say that kinworking doesn’t deliver, but rather that what it delivers isn’t capital but life—that connected, abundant, joyful experience of living among people and working, together, for a better world. > It is the practice of curiosity and care, of connection rather than extraction, of cultivating common ground. And whether you are the one reaching out, or the one receiving the gift, making kin feels good. Because it is good. You can trust your instincts on that.