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  "description": "I wrote this sometime last year, near the end of it. I'm fine; I just had a bad case of the morbs that day. And this is something I wonder about a lot. ",
  "path": "/tt-upon-my-funeral/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-12T14:00:24.000Z",
  "site": "https://raintreeruckus.com",
  "textContent": "_Content Warning: mentions of death; talking about it._\n\nWhen planning my funeral\nKnow first that\nYou can feel relieved, too;\nI don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore.\nThe world has been difficult\nAnd has drove me insane\nFrom the weight and ridiculousness of it all.\nKnow that my strife is no more.\n\nIt'd be unlikely I would have\nDone myself in.\nAnd if I did\nYou'll know of everything that'd be the blame\nIn my final letters\nAnd the telling of my life.\nIdeally,\nI would have grown old, at peace with death\nDespite my jokes of\nLiving forever.\nBut most likely,\nA component of me will fail\nAnd there's only so much I can do\nIf I hadn't just quietly given up.\n\nI am quite tired.\n\nI'll probably have no will,\nNo master password written down.\nWhat's left in disarray\nThrough barriers societal or my inaction.\nI'll be dead;\nLet the living sort that shit out.\nLet them come across everything\nI hid in plain sight.\nSome things may still be left wide open.\n\nSo,\nSteal my contact list.\nSend out the invites to as many people as possible.\nAs with any event, only a quarter will show.\nSo find out who'll show.\nAmuse those that do show up.\n\nUpon my funeral\nFind those contradictions\nI was bound to have.\nCall me all the names I answered to.\nVehemently correct my pronouns;\nThose that refuse to correct themselves\nAre welcome to join me.\n\nYes, do the usual-- slideshows and so forth.\nKeep it outside; I'd hate a church.\nIf you must utter deities and the sort\nOnly orishas are permitted\nAnd my favorite Black authors.\n(But it is really best if you don't.)\n\nTell your stories; drink your drinks.\n\nDress in your best Goth attire.\nDress in your best drag.\nDress in such a way people will think you're going to a party.\n\nAnd have a party.\nOffer all the food I love and hate.\nMore for you, more for you.\nHave a Deathday Month\nBecause I loved having Birthday Months.\nDo the things I'd do with you.\n\nCremate me; no one is keeping me in the ground.\nDo with the ashes as you see fit.\nI can become jewelry,\nA sprinkle in a Floridian spring,\nThe grit in a brick to throw at the pigs,\nA strange paperweight overlooking your work.\n\nAnd in your relief,\nPlease cry.\nI didn't do it nearly enough\n(even though I am crying now)\nSo you'll have to do it for me.\n\nAnd live.\nIf you can do what I couldn't,\nLive forever.\nIf you can't,\nI'll be seeing you.\n\nIn the meantime,\nMaybe I'll figure out that whole haunting business;\nY'all know I love to be annoying,\nKnocking over and stealing things.\n\nThe grief will never go away\nBut at least\nI'm part of what I should have been,\nThe grand and humble\nThing of the world.",
  "title": "TT: Upon My Funeral",
  "updatedAt": "2026-03-12T14:00:25.645Z"
}