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  "description": "A disclaimer about the nature of advice 🚩",
  "path": "/the-red-flag-of-should/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-02-06T07:00:13.000Z",
  "site": "https://www.gilespcroft.com",
  "tags": [
    "you don't show up",
    "Just tree"
  ],
  "textContent": "As you read various **Daily Reminders** , you might notice every now and again, that the word ‘should’ gets followed with a little red flag emoji (🚩)\n\nAnd you might be wondering why!\n\nIt's actually one of _two_ disclaimers that I share fairly early on, when I'm working with groups. We'll look at one today and another tomorrow.\n\nWhy have ‘disclaimers’ at all?\n\nBecause minds are cheeky little monkeys, that's why! They get the slightest whiff of change (_especially_ anything pertaining to them), and they'll pull all sorts of stunts to get themselves off the hook.\n\nAn Ego Construct 📦 challenged, is a dangerous beast!\n\nI've spoken before about how they'll feign disinterest, so that you don't show up, but at the opposite end of the spectrum is a really _keen_ mind: one that wants to get its sleeves rolled up and help.\n\n> 📦🗣️ _“Oh, it's me! I'm the problem! Right, come on then, let's get this sorted! What's he saying? Yeah, I can get behind that. Ok, right, so that means we should…”_\n\nAnd there it is – the innocent ‘should’ (🚩)\n\nHence my first disclaimer:\n\n****Everything I share is descriptive, not prescriptive.****\n\nMinds want to get involved. They want to have rules that they can abide by. They want answers, and unfortunately (for them), life's not really like that.\n\nWe get this experience of Now – pure presence, or flow, or pure, uncontaminated Thought-perception (_‘_ Just tree_’_ as the Buddhists call it). Life! This moment.\n\nAnd then the mind looks in on it, and chops it up into little bits, and places it on a timescale, and compares, and adds concepts to it all, and judges some things as ‘better’ and others as ‘worse’ and this is why I can get away with outrageous statements like:\n\n🔑\n\n****Key Message**** : ALL problems are created by the mind.\n\nBecause it's true!\n\nThere _are_ no problems in life itself – it's all ticking along nicely in its cycle of growth and decay and birth and death.\n\nAnd the ‘should’ red flag (🚩) falls into the same category. **_By definition_** , it means that the mind is active. Life—or ‘what is’—doesn't come pre-packaged with ‘should’s.\n\nIt's really reliable. Any time you catch yourself saying ‘should’ (🚩) it's merely a sign that the mind is active, and whatever it's saying doesn't have to be taken seriously.\n\nThe more aware of it you are, spotting that, _Oh, this is the mind, looking in on life, and saying some stuff_ , the easier things will become.__\n\nBecause there _are_ no shoulds!\n\n💟\n\nGiles\n\np.s. of course it doesn't mean that you ‘shouldn't’ (🚩) do what it's saying, either! 🥴",
  "title": "The red flag of ‘should’",
  "updatedAt": "2026-04-14T14:48:36.288Z"
}