I Bought This Before Elon Went Crazy (No You Didn't)

Elon's a trillionaire now so this seemed an apt time to bring up something I've been thinking about recently... If you live in an area with a lot of Teslas like I do then you've probably seen the stickers/magnets that gained popularity around the time of the 2024 US presidential election: ‼️ I BOUGHT THIS BEFORE ELON WENT CRAZY The message being that the owner of said Tesla purchased the vehicle during those halcyon days where Elon was just another hard working CEO pulling himself up by his bootstraps in search of the American Dream. To which I must of course call BULLSHIT. Elon did not go crazy in 2024 or in any other recent year. Elon has always been and will always be a colossal asshole. Might I suggest some more appropriate bumper stickers for your Tesla? ‼️ I BOUGHT THIS BECAUSE BOYCOTTING ELON WOULD HAVE SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENCED ME Or maybe... ‼️ I BOUGHT THIS BECAUSE MY PRIVILEGE INSULATES ME FROM THE NEGATIVE IMPACTS OF MY ACTIONS Or how about one more... ‼️ I BOUGHT THIS BECAUSE I AM TOTALLY OKAY WITH FASCISM Okay, fine. Perhaps I'm being too harsh. Perhaps all these wealthy Tesla owners really truly were unaware of what a giant fucking shitbag Elon is. In that case I have a simple question for you: ARE YOU LIVING IN A MOTHERFUCKING CAVE WITH NO NEWSPAPER DELIVERY OR INTERNET CONNECTION? AND IF SO HOW DOES YOUR SHIT-ASS TESLA GET OTA SOFTWARE UPDATES? Because right now dear readers I am going to reveal to you the very last possible date on which anybody with any amount of awareness could genuinely say they didn't know Elon was a crazy asshole. If you bought a Tesla after this day you are absolutely 100% forbidden from slapping one of those stupid bumper stickers on because you absolutely should have known better and the sticker would be a lie. July 15, 2018 If that date doesn't ring a bell, allow me to remind you. It's the day Elon called one of the Tham Luang cave rescuers a "pedo guy". > Sorry pedo guy, you really did ask for it. If you bought a Telsa before that date it's possible you can be forgiven. If you bought a Tesla after that date you have no excuse. You knew who Elon was. He showed his true colors for all the world to see and that tweet was broadcast across pretty much every news outlet on the planet. PS: The Model 3 shipped in July 2017, so there will be a few of you who squeaked in under the wire. The Model Y didn't ship until March 2020 so 100% of you guys are complicit. PPS: Is it just me or have these stickers pretty much disappeared now? Anecdotally I feel like people have taken them off their cars. Can't even be bothered with lip service I guess. PPPS: Seriously though people, get rid of your fucking Teslas. It's not like there aren't a ton of other options these days. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like every other car company CEO is some great human being but there is no other company where the identity of the CEO is so wrapped up with the company itself. And there is certainly no other car company CEO who is so directly and personally responsible for the deaths of so many people (see DOGE vs. USAID). And if there is please let me know!