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  "path": "/pentagon-develops-tactical-zoot-suit/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-14T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "News",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "military",
    "Vol 62: Issue 2",
    "Pentagon Develops Tactical Zoot Suit",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "WASHINGTON—Calling the snazzy battle garments the most substantial advancement in boogie-woogie warfare in 85 years, Pentagon officials confirmed Friday that development on the U.S. military’s highly specialized tactical zoot suit had been completed. “These combat zoot suits with high waists and oversized jackets are key to keeping our troops safe and jazzy on the battlefield,” said […]\n\nThe post Pentagon Develops Tactical Zoot Suit appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Pentagon Develops Tactical Zoot Suit"
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