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  "path": "/pete-hegseth-replaces-top-general-with-horse-that-drinks-beer/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-03T18:19:47.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "News",
    "Pete Hegseth",
    "Vol 62: Issue 13",
    "Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "WASHINGTON—Saying he had finally found a military commander whose character was worthy of the U.S. Army, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Friday that he was replacing ousted top general Randy George with a horse that drinks beer. “With Dusty’s wartime promotion to Army chief of staff, we’re putting the world on notice that the days of buzzkill […]\n\nThe post Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer  appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer"
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