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  "path": "/panicked-dodgers-owner-has-no-idea-how-hes-going-to-come-up-with-414-million-payroll/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-02T19:10:41.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Baseball",
    "Sports",
    "Vol 62: Issue 13",
    "Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How He’s Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "LOS ANGELES—Admitting that the team’s ballooning salary expenditures had rapidly gotten away from him, panicked Los Angeles Dodgers owner Mark Walter told reporters Thursday that he had absolutely no idea how he was going to come up with the funds needed to cover this year’s $414 million payroll. “What the hell, $414 million? I’m totally […]\n\nThe post Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How He’s Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How He’s Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll"
}