{
  "$type": "site.standard.document",
  "bskyPostRef": {
    "cid": "bafyreibydpk3my6sfwfjbnbe5ubtdcewtdasolqdtmay6fxzg3agouh2ci",
    "uri": "at://did:plc:5olcatpgntoduqswv3gngy5u/app.bsky.feed.post/3mibrhhvvvhb2"
  },
  "coverImage": {
    "$type": "blob",
    "ref": {
      "$link": "bafkreih5lnzqiw3he4adjf4cfpzpood7xzskcdzv63uoumh3lpkad56pjm"
    },
    "mimeType": "image/jpeg",
    "size": 1374808
  },
  "path": "/kristi-noem-defends-use-of-force-on-own-face/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-30T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Politics",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "Kristi Noem",
    "Vol 62: Issue 10",
    "Kristi Noem Defends Use Of Force On Own Face",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "WASHINGTON—Saying the expansive response was entirely justified based on the dire state of her physical appearance, outgoing Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem defended the use of force on her own face Thursday. During a press conference, the 54-year-old soon-to-be former Cabinet member spoke proudly of her role in what she described as the “greatest facial […]\n\nThe post Kristi Noem Defends Use Of Force On Own Face appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Kristi Noem Defends Use Of Force On Own Face"
}