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  "path": "/trump-demands-allies-do-their-fair-share-to-fuck-up-the-world/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-23T18:47:03.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Politics",
    "Donald Trump",
    "Vol 62: Issue 12",
    "War",
    "Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "WASHINGTON—Declaring that the United States would no longer bear the full burden of screwing the pooch on a global level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Monday demanding U.S. allies do their fair share to help fuck up the world. “The United States contributes far more to worldwide suffering than any of our so-called ‘allies’ […]\n\nThe post Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World"
}