{
  "$type": "site.standard.document",
  "canonicalUrl": "https://hypersubject.net/entries/2026/04/the-inner-anarchist-concedes",
  "path": "/entries/2026/04/the-inner-anarchist-concedes",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-19T19:21:17.000Z",
  "site": "at://did:plc:32534e3a5wza2m3omyuflhm3/site.standard.publication/3mnmnwcnftk2i",
  "tags": [
    "weekly-update"
  ],
  "textContent": "_I was in Antalya, Turkey for the company offsite last week. This is a reflection on the past week. photo dump._\n\nThe worst type of leader is the one who needs to be the leader. The second worst\ntype is the one who just can't accept that they are the leader.\n\nI'm a leader. Writing this fills me with dread because it sounds megalomaniacal\nto my ears. However, it's true. I am a leader. I've been a leader for some\ntime—I've been the technical lead of my team for the last three years. Although\nthey had been calling me that for some time, I think I never really assumed\nit. I always treated it like a symbolic title that they needed to give me not\nbecause I deserved it but because conditions demanded it. Somebody had to fill\nthe void, and no one else was going to.\n\nDunno what really changed but this year I started to feel I fit the position.\nIt's not like I had impostor syndrome and I finally got over it. I was confident\nwith my technical abilities for quite some time. I just started to feel\ncomfortable with the idea of being the leader. This required a lot of convincing\nfor my inner-anarchist who has zero trust for the symbolic capital of the title.\nMy teammates have done most of that convincing by looking up to me and putting\ntheir trust in me. Another part was my peers, superiors, and customers, and this\nnever-ending feeling of being the adult in the room.\n\nLast week was one of the most challenging weeks for my team. We needed to\nfinish a pretty daunting release that required us to work long hours under great\npressure. We were at the company offsite which required us to participate in\na lot of meetings and discussions. At the same time, the team needed to finish\nthe development and testing of big features for the release. We did it. I am\ngrateful to have wonderful teammates who never hesitate to laugh under stress\nand never cease to support their fellows no matter how tired they are. And they\nshape me as well. It's a dialectical process—just as leadership shapes the team,\nthe team shapes the leader.",
  "title": "the inner-anarchist concedes"
}